So it’s been 5 months (almost). And as much as I hate to admit it, I think it’s time for me to do something. For the past 5 months, I’ve given myself permission to just exist in Rose World… every day consists of feeding her, napping with her, & pretty much revolving every single minute around her. And as enjoyable as that’s been, I think I’ve reached the point of hibernation saturation… I’ve gotta get back into real life. At some point, I’ve slipped from “new mom figuring things out” to “mom who uses her baby as an excuse to be a bum.” I’m letting everything slide, & while it was ok for a while after Rose was born, it’s not ok long-term. I’m using Rose as an excuse to not leave the house, to not take a shower, not change out of my pajamas, not eat healthy, not go grocery shopping, not keep up with the finances, not take care of myself or the house or, well, anything except Rose. She gets the VIP treatment, & everything else is getting the shaft.
I feel like my brain has fogged over. I think that’s why I haven’t been writing… because in order to write, your brain has to actually function.
So I gotta do something. Something like organize the tupperware drawer & clean the shower, which has reached a level of disgustingness that is just embarrassing. Something like taking a daily walk & maybe even joining the ymca. Something like making an effort to reconnect with my husband. Something like going to bed before 2am & getting up before 10am.
I don’t really know how to start this new phase. But I do know that in a few more months, I want to be able to look back & say “wow, I feel better.”