• How far along? 33 weeks, 6 days
  • Symptoms? Does crying 4 times in Home Depot count? No, really. I go several days just buzzing along, getting crap done, & then I suddenly have a freakout/meltdown/crying jag that is completely irrational. I can just feel it bubbling up, & I try to talk myself out of it to no avail. Bobby is usually involved — something he says or doesn’t say, a wrong response, a perceived lack of empathy. And then sometimes it’s not Bobby-related at all — anxiety about breastfeeding was the most recent cause for distress, resulting in hours upon hours yesterday of frantic reading online, trying to convince myself that I can do this. So yeah, a little bit of a basket case these days, with periods of “just fine” sprinkled in-between.
  • Baby-related purchases? This past week has been the most impulse purchases so far… I actually woke up this morning with the complete conviction that I must, must, MUST stop buying things. In the past, I’ve been a stress-eater. Now I’m a stress-shopper. Every time I start to feel frantic, I seem to end up on ebay & etsy. Clicking that “place order” button just makes it all feel better. For 2.5 minutes.
  • Maternity clothes? Oh yes.
  • Sleep: If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me “get as much sleep as you can now!” in the last week, I could buy my entire ebay watch list. I’m sleeping ok, I guess… takes awhile to fall asleep, & once I wake up, it’s hard to fall back to sleep. My brain races like a rat on a wheel. It’s hard to turn off.
  • Best moment this week: Our second baby shower! Our Sunday School class (who I fondly call “The Heretics”) had a shower for us yesterday afternoon. It’s humbling & a bit unnerving how kind & thoughtful people are… Bobby & I were a little overwhelmed. They are SO excited about Rose — almost giddy. You see, the Heretics are a wee bit older than us… like, 15-20 years older. For the most part, we’re younger than their children. The couple who hosted the shower are 75 & 80 years old. She had gotten out all of her silver & polished it, her crystal punch bowl, battenburg lace tablecloth, the whole works… it was lovely, & she seemed completely thrilled. They’re all referring to Rose as their “grandbaby” & we already have multiple offers to babysit. It’s just so stinkin’ sweet, ya’ll. It warms my heart, especially when I think about how different our entire Sunday experience was before we found them.
  • Most ridiculous moment this week: The Home Depot Multiple Meltdown Extravaganza was a little bit dramatic. Just saying. I’m going to give a summary because it’d be a shame to forget this little day o’ funk. Saturday, Bobby got up for a 7am tee time, & sure enough, I couldn’t go back to sleep after he left. So I lay there staring at the ceiling, with all kinds of stressful bits flying around in my head. He got home around lunchtime & fell asleep on the sofa. And I sat. And I stewed, waiting impatiently for him to get up. By the time he woke up, I had worked myself into a mental frenzy. I demanded that we immediately go run errands, & I got so.freakin’.annoyed that he was sluggish & still half asleep. We got into an argument at CVS about how many more test strip refills I needed (he was right, I was wrong, which pissed me off), & then proceeded to Home Depot for some storage boxes. He ran the cart into a display, & then ran into it again. 

    Bobby (outraged): Why the hell do they put these things out in the middle of the aisle?!
    Me, in my smartassiest voice: Why the hell do you run into it TWICE?
    Bobby: Maybe because I’m trying not to hit the pregnant woman.
    Me: WHAT?!? I’m NOT that big! These aisles are extra-wide, & I assure you that there’s enough room for me, your stupid cart & that stupid display.
    Commence meltdown.

    And then he asked me why I couldn’t have just done these errands by myself. Which made me cry more. And then he heaved a long-suffering sigh & said “If you weren’t with child, I’d go get you drunk right now. Because seriously? You need a drink.” Which brought on a fresh wave of sobs because I miss beer & my husband hates me & I’m just so freakin’ sad. Yep, it was ridiculous.

  • Movement: Still one of my very favorite parts of this whole pregnancy thing. The other day, Bobby & I were talking… he was sitting on the sofa, I was on the loveseat. Suddenly he zeroed in on my stomach & said “Holy crap, what is she DOING in there?!?” Apparently, my entire stomach jumped to such an extent that he could see it across the room… made me laugh :)
  • Food cravings: I’m still loving some Sonic happy hour. When I’m out running errands, I rearrange them to I’ll drive by Sonic between 2 – 5pm… since the gestational diabetes diagnosis, I’ve switched to diet cherry limeade with extra lime. Jennifer accidentally took a sip of mine & almost choked… apparently it’s a wee bit tart. Yum.
  • Gender: GIRL!!
  • Belly Button in or out? Out/smooth. It’s a strange-looking specimen these days.
  • What I miss: Beer. My sanity. Not scaring the nice Home Depot associates. Not wanting to kill my husband just because he’s existing in my space. Yeah, this week’s been a hormonal one.
  • What I am looking forward to: Having our hospital bags packed. I have a fear that something’s going to happen & my bag’s not going to be packed & I have a list of what I want in there & Bobby won’t know where my list is & he’ll pack the wrong stuff & then everything will just be messed up. AHHHHHHH.
  • Weekly Wisdom: Despite the 1-800-BAD-DRUG commercials that make me want to stab my eyes out, I’m really glad I listened to Dr Obgyn & stayed on my zoloft. Because I would be a flippin’ loon if I weren’t medicated.
  • Milestones: Dr Obgyn told me that I don’t have to test my blood sugar everyday anymore… WOOHOO!! He said a few days a week will work. Yay for me & my fingers. I haven’t gained any weight in the last month, apparently — Rose has gotten bigger, but I’ve lost a few pounds. Dr Obgyn estimated that she probably won’t weigh more than 8 lbs. Yay for me & my nether-regions.
  • Z4 is the size of: a pineapple or a honeydew melon, depending on who you ask. My daily calendar says she weighs about as much as half gallon of milk.. a little over 4 lbs.
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