Thank ya’ll for your comments on my last post. I turned on moderation (just for that one post) so that I could read them, but I’m not going to publish. Just gonna keep them for myself… but thank ya’ll.
After an angry email exchange, Sue & I talked on the phone last night for awhile. I can honestly say it wasn’t like any conversation she & I have ever had. She met with her professor yesterday to discuss the possibility of a delayed departure, & there’s a chance that the trip will be postponed by a week because of a festival or something going on in Trujillo. So it could work out for her to be at the birth.
I’m just kind of in a holding pattern, & trying not to think about it too much. One of the comments I received echoed everything Bobby’s been saying… that ultimately, this is about only 3 people — me, Bobby, & Z4. I know this intellectually, but emotionally? It’s gonna take some time. It’s such a giant transition from where I’ve been for the last 3.5 yrs, & it’s not one I was anticipating or prepared for at all.
Jennifer sent me an email this week that I printed out & have hanging in a place where I can’t miss it. I figure the more it’s hammered into my brain, the more likely it will stick. And it makes me feel close to Mama, which is something to be treasured.
I know you remember this. It always hung on Mama’s refrigerator.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
I think it’s pretty appropriate for right now. I’m sure Mama said it a lot. :) Love you…