The less-than-3-minute phone conversation I just had with Sue:

::phone rings::
me: hey
Sue: hey, you feeling better?
me: yeah, fine, just watching football with Bobby
Sue: That’s good. So I just got my hair dyed really red & bought a diffuser shaped like a giant hand. You know how when you’re blow-dying curly hair & only the bottom gets dry & then you have triangle hair? Well, this diffuser totally doesn’t do that. It’s AWESOME.
me: I’ve never blow-dried curly hair, but that sounds good.
Sue: And I’m coming home this weekend, so you or Jen should schedule our massages for next Saturday & we should go to Red Bowl for lunch.
me: Ok.
Sue: Oh, and we went to Pantheon last night & I made out with a girl. But I know her so it’s totally not weird.
::long pause while my brain transitions from college football to curly-hair-drying techniques to plans for next weekend to girl-on-girl (who happens to be my baby sister) action::
me: Ok.
Sue: Oh, my ride’s here, gotta go, love you, bye!
::click::

 

Me: Bobby, will you hand me my Tums?

 

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