Last night, I was awakened from a dead sleep by Bobby tapping me & saying “Sarah! Sarah, wake up!” As I peeled my eyelids open, he said “Are you awake? Wake up! You have to be awake. I have to ask you something.” What the hell, dude. I said in only a slightly homicidal tone “WHAT.” And in the most plaintive, sad little voice ever, he said “Are you planning to divorce me?”
My immediate urge was to reply, “Right now? Maybe.” But I didn’t because he obviously was quite perturbed… so I assured him that I wasn’t plotting a secret divorce, & we should go back to sleep. Right now.
This morning, he explained to me that he had been having a recurring, very vivid dream where he & I are sitting at the dining room table & I’ve inventoried all our belongings & am demanding that we divvy them up. He’s trying to reason with me & I’m just being a grade-A, heartless bitch. I assured him again that I was planning no such thing & that he wasn’t getting rid of me that easily. He seemed somewhat mollified. I think I sometimes really stress Bobby out. He’s a good husband, really he is.
Then this afternoon, I received a text from him:
Welcome to the Apple family!
What? What’s that you say? You say that the little MacBook Air that I’ve been yearning for is coming to live with me? He explained that he had a client book a job & pay upfront, & since it was money that we hadn’t already budgeted, he just headed straight to the Apple store for an early Christmas surprise. SO EXCITED. I have been just gazing lovingly at it all evening, with an occasional caress. Love it. Lovelovelovelovelove it. You can’t tell at ALL in this picture:
My Bobby? He’s a dear.