First, Sadie’s first birthday. We did presents & cake this weekend. For Sadie, it went great. For Maggie, not so much. I HATE the look that she gets when Sadie is the center of attention. HATE it. Jennifer, Sue & I all bought her “big sister” gifts to ease the pain, but it didn’t seem to help. It was frustrating — I just don’t know how to balance the two of them.

The grand finale? I was sitting in the floor playing with Sadie & one of her new presents, & Maggie looks at me & says “Sassy, it’s time for you to go home. Bye-bye.”  And even though I knew logically that she’s 3, & it’s jealousy speaking, & it’s stupid to let a 3-yr-old hurt your feelings, I have to say… her words stabbed me in the heart just as surely as if she had jabbed me with one of her little pink princess knives out of her kitchen set. It SUCKED. Big suckage. And then Jennifer demanded that she apologize, & she wouldn’t, & then she had to go to bed until she was ready to say sorry, & Sadie started screaming because I stopped playing with her, & …. just bleh. It sucked. Really & truly.

Ok, next topic. Mo, who is a serial miscarrier like myself, is pregnant & her betas are multiplying appropriately. I WANT this pregnancy to make it. Because she & her husband deserve a fat, happy, healthy baby. And because it’s proof that there’s life after recurrent miscarriage.  Grow, Mo’s baby, grow.

Final topic. Bobby & I are hosting family Thanksgiving dinner again this year. Thanksgiving at our house is a tradition that started during our first year of marriage — we were living in Charlotte, NC, which is the halfway point between my parents & my grandparents. So after much cajoling & wheedling, I convinced everyone to meet for dinner at our little townhouse. It was lovely — a new marriage, a new tradition, a particular mix of family that had never occurred before… and because it worked so well, we just kept doing it. Of course, now Bobby & I host Thanksgiving for different reasons, & although it, like all holidays, is full of missing Mama, it’s also become a day that I’ve been able to put my own personal stamp on. I pull out  my wedding china & crystal, I hand-make the table placecards, & I try to make each Thanksgiving a little smoother & little more “right” than the one before.

This year, we have new family & new dynamics once again. The guest list is at 14 adults & 4 children. For the first time, I’ve ordered real invitations… before, it’s always been word-of-mouth. I like them, I think… they make me happy.  I feel naturally drawn to formal, elegant-type invites, but with these, I purposefully tried for something more casual. I don’t want it to seem weird or formal or stuffy to the “new” family who will hopefully be joining us this year.