A few months ago, during the planning of the Great Retirement Party of 2010, I casually asked my father about his plans for remarriage. And he said, & I quote, that he thought he “would know who he would marry by October.”

This is not a normal statement, & for a normal father-daughter relationship, this conversation would have been noteworthy. The fact that I never even mentioned the conversation on this blog is indication of just how weird my family is. I did, however, mention it to my sisters… figured I’d give them the heads-up that October was The Month.

The obvious question is, of course, is why would my father have a specific month in mind? I’ve given it some thought, & here’s what I’ve come up with:

  1. The official 3-year anniversary of Mama’s death is this week. In Daddy’s mind, three years is the magic number. According to his calculations, he’s scheduled to be ready to move on by the end of this month.
  2. There’s a prime wife-shopping opportunity going down in just a few weeks. (If you’re not familiar with “wife-shopping,” click here for history.) My father tithes & flies to visit Oklahoma’s The Church & Preacher Man every month or so. Every fall, The Church in Oklahoma has a revival-type gathering of 4 or 5 churches from throughout the US & Canada. There will be lots of eligible wife material at these gatherings — never-married & widows are the only ones that’ll work (no divorcees, please).  I think that Preacher Man may have already given Daddy a “short list” of women to check out…. they’re nothing if not efficient in this wife-shopping process.

As October draws nearer, our suspicions/theories are being proven correct. Daddy’s showing an undue amount of excitement about this particular Oklahoma trip… he booked his own plane tickets/hotel/rental car for the first time, & he’s decided to stay 3-4 extra nights (another first).

I’m ready, I think. I’m ready for his announcement. I’ve been working my way through it for months, & I honestly don’t even know if I’ll feel surprised or upset at all when he drops his little bomb, which, knowing him, he’ll probably do at the least opportune time (like maybe Thanksgiving dinner).

I don’t think I care if he gets remarried. Honestly, if he finds someone who makes him happy, that would nice to see. I do sincerely wish that he would move to Oklahoma — it just makes sense. He would be near The Church & Preacher Man, & when we scheduled biannual family visits, we would all be on good behavior & actually probably like each other MORE because we see each other less. And plus, New Wife would probably be happier in Oklahoma, cuz’ I’m fairly certain that New Wife isn’t going to want to kick it with her backslid stepdaughters. And because Daddy seems open to a relationship with someone my age or in that vicinity, I’m even trying to prepare myself emotionally for the possibility of him starting a second family. You know, because he did such a great job with the first one & all.

Wouldn’t that be fun. My father having a second family while Bobby & I are just trying to have our first.

Anyway. Moving on.

If he does bring New Wife here, I would really, REALLY prefer that they not live in our childhood home. The house is a shell of what it was — when Mama died, so did the heart of that home. I would be completely fine with not darkening the door again until I’m loading a moving truck.

So yeah. Maybe I’m just borrowing trouble & worrying needlessly. Or maybe I’ve been blindsided by my father enough times to know that preparedness is the best way to play it. I really need to get my Ativan prescription refilled. You know… just in case.