I have a bad tv habit, & I’m not ashamed. And since DVR has entered my life, it’s gotten even worse. Hear a show’s pretty funny? DVR it. Something else on the same time as one I’m already watching? DVR it. Realize there’s one reality show that has somehow escaped my notice?… HOW could I have been missing Big Brother all this time? DVR it.

My most recent source of hilarity is coming from “Bachelor Pad.”  It’s like the Real Housewives (& Husbands) all in one house (& bedroom!) plus unlimited alcohol. So. frikkin’. funny. I’m fairly sure that you have to have watched some of the previous Bachelor/Bachelorette shows to really get the full effect… and since I’m a brain-rot tv junkie, I’m golden. Oh, & to make it even better, there are blogs dedicated to the sheer ridiculousness that is this show:  EW’s Kristen Baldwin & ihategreenbeans make it worth watching.  Seriously, they’re THAT funny.

And then there’s Big Brother. I somehow missed this little gem up until now, but with the help of my trusty DVR, I’ve righted this monumental error & am now regularly partaking. I’ve discovered, however, that while the show itself is entertaining, it’s not my favorite part. You see, Bobby & I just broke up with our cable company & went with satellite, & we’re now receiving 3 months of free HBO & Showtime. And on Showtime, from 12am to 3am (yes, that’s an ungodly hour), there’s “Big Brother After Dark.” Basically, it’s the live feed from the Big Brother cameras of them just… well, doing nothing for the most part. I’m mesmerized. I giggle into the wee hours of the morning watching this pointless crap. And my favorite part? Is when the voice of Big Brother himself chastises the players. There’s apparently all these strange rules, & if they break one, the voice of God booms out of the walls & scolds them. “Britney, stop singing!”  “Lane & Matt, you are not allowed to discuss production!”  “Brendon, stop that. Stop that NOW!!” And they don’t even react to the booming voice… apparently when living in the Big Brother house, being scolded by a disembodied, disapproving voice is normal?

And the best part of all of this? Bobby watches it with me. It took me several years of marriage to wear him down, but I’ve finally forced him to admit that watching brain-rot is WAY more fun than watching CNN or any of that crap. He sometimes has to work during it, but when he hears me howling with laughter, he scampers into the living room & demands that I rewind. Because I have DVR & I can.

I used to watch Grey’s Anatomy & ER & Desperate Housewives & such. But after you have a real-life medical crisis, those shows are just a little too real to be entertaining — all the blood & seizures & breast cancer diagnoses. Not fun. And why watch tv if it’s not fun, I ask you? I have enough “real life” in real life… so when it comes to television, my policy is the brain-rottier, the better.