My father’s outdone himself this time.

Sue moved back to Charleston on June 1st. She’s subleasing an apartment until August 1st, when her permanent lease starts. She settled in, only to discover that her boss had misunderstood her intentions, & had hired summer help to replace her… thus making her unemployed until Aug. Commence freak-out.

She didn’t call Bobby & me for help because she was embarrassed… didn’t want us to think she was irresponsible. Starts looking for another job while trying to work things out with her boss. Meanwhile, however, she runs slap out of money. When Bobby & I get the mail a couple of days later, we discover bank overdraft notices addressed to Sue. She finally calls & confesses, with assurances that she has worked it out with her boss. I ask her if she needs money until her first paycheck deposits, & she says no, that she’ll ask Daddy. We hang up, & I immediately transfer $100 into her checking account. I don’t trust Daddy to fix anything.

She calls Daddy & tells him the whole story. He asks if she needs money. She says yes. Daddy says he’ll deposit some money into her account for groceries. Still normal father-of-a-college-student behavior, right? I mean, your college kid needs money for food, so you give her a couple of twenties, right? Oh no, not MY father. MY father hangs up the phone & goes to her room where she still hasn’t moved out a lot of her childhood stuff. He breaks open her piggy bank, the one in which she’s been depositing change since she was little, & cleans it out. Bags up her change & takes it to the bank & deposits $137 in change into her checking account.

He cleaned out his child’s piggy bank, ya’ll. Surely, SURELY this locks up the Father Of The Year award.