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Saturday was a bad day in Sarah & Bobby world. It was filled to the brim with frantic, impulsive activity, evil words, & wasted motion. It was the exact kind of day that just annoys the living piss out of me. It felt the Sarah & Bobby of old, when we just did stuff without thought or preparation.

It all began, really, on Thursday when the damn limb fell on our damn car. Bobby got the neighbor’s insurance info, & began the tedious process of filing a claim. The neighbor isn’t assisting with this at all. He’s like 20 (no offense, 20-yr-olds), this is his first house, & he doesn’t have a flippin’ clue. Because it’s a holiday weekend, the adjuster won’t be out until Tues or Wed… so Bobby buys a tarp & shrouds his injured little car until further notice.

So now we have one (functioning) car, our Accord. Which we then sold on Saturday morning. We listed both cars on Craig’s List the previous Sunday, & a buyer showed up Sat morning with cash. We waved goodbye to the Accord, congratulating ourselves on a quick sale, & then realized that “Oh. Oh wait. We don’t have any transportation. Oops.”

We ask Sue (who’s in a mood… a really, REEEEEALLY bad mood, the kind of mood that only she can have) to drive us to Bobby’s mom’s house, where we just assume that she’ll let us borrow a car. We don’t really consider that MIL might have plans, or that this might inconvenience her, because that would require us to think ahead. She rearranges her entire morning to accommodate us. Nice MIL. Bad Sarah & Bobby. We hop in her car & zoom away to the neighboring state, 2.5 hrs away, to look at a Honda Pilot that we found online. We’ve never driven a Pilot. We’ve never ridden in a Pilot. We just decide that we want a Pilot, & the perfect Pilot is 2.5 hrs away.

We arrive 20 minutes before the dealership closes & sit in the Pilot, only to discover that we don’t like Pilots. And even if we did like Pilots, this particular Pilot isn’t in very good shape. So we leave to make the 2.5-hr drive back, & we get pulled over for not wearing our seatbelts. Meanwhile, we’ve started bickering at each other. Bobby’s implying that the drive to see The Perfect Pilot was my idea, while I was under the impression that we decided on this stupid little excursion together. We’ve spent too much time in the car together, & we’re annoyed, & now we owe the state of Georgia $25 for not wearing our seatbelts.

So then, the Grand Finale.

By the time we arrive home, Bobby & I both just plain pissy & the entire day is shot to hell. We decide to go to Jennifer & Tom’s for ice cream, & run by our house to pick Sue up. Sue is still in a funk, & is acting hateful… when her bad moods hit, she’s truly unbearable. When we arrive at Jennifer & Tom’s, Sue gets out of the car (which is actually Bobby’s mom’s car) & slams the door unnecessarily hard. And Bobby FREAKS OUT. He screams at her, telling her to not slam a car door that doesn’t belong to her. And Sue whirls around & tells him to chill out, which of course has the exact opposite effect. Bobby (my husband) & Sue (my sister) are standing in the driveway of Jennifer (my sister) & Tom (my BIL the ordained minster) shrieking at each other. Sue tells Bobby to stop acting like her father (which is a sore topic, because for all intents & purposes, Bobby is filling the role of her father). And Bobby tells Sue that if she doesn’t like how he acts, she can find somewhere else to live (which is just wrong, because her father’s a nonfactor & her mother’s dead & we’re her only option). And Sue tells Bobby to fuck himself. And Bobby tells Sue to fuck herself. And Sue takes off running down the road. And Jennifer’s staring at the mayhem from the back door, while Tom tells her to stop gawking as his in-laws scream obscenities in his driveway. And then I scream at Bobby — I tell him that I try to stay out of his & Sue’s constant bickering, but this time it’s gone too far. That he’s way out of line, & he’s 15 yrs older than her, & it’s about time he started acting like the adult in the relationship. And then I stomp into Jen & Tom’s house & cry, while Bobby gets in the car & goes after Sue (it’s unclear whether he’s planning to pick her up or run over her).

It was classy, ya’ll. The perfect end to a perfect day.

It all worked out ok — Bobby picked Sue up off the side of the road where she was running & sobbing, & they had a heart-to-heart. And they came back & we all had ice cream together. Apologized to Jennifer & Tom for having a Jerry Springer episode in their driveway, then went home & fell into an exhausted sleep.

Um, yeah. Saturday was definitely not one of my & Bobby’s finer moments. We went (back) to church Sunday morning (haven’t been since we skipped on Mother’s Day), & tried to push the “reset” button on this week, but I somehow still feel like I have an emotional hangover. I think that Bobby & I both feel embarrassed by our behavior on Saturday… we expect more of ourselves & each other. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve been really sketchy this entire month.

Tomorrow’s June, a new month. This is a good thing.

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