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#1: The one where I’m married to my father. Ew.

Bobby & I were sitting in Moe’s (WELCOME TO MOE’S!!) having lunch. One of my two-year-old kiddo’s walks in with his family, & is totally perplexed as to why Ms Sarah would be at Moe’s instead of at school. So they go to order their food, & a few minutes later, he crawls up into the booth with me, gives me a hug, & scowls at Bobby suspiciously, saying “What you name?”  His mama tells me that he asked if he could go “sit with Ms Sarah & her daddy.”

Bobby’s still recovering from that blow. I’m still giggling.

#2: The one where I die from embarrassment.

I have to take 15 hrs of continuing education because I work with kids, & one of the classes was this past week. I flippin’ got lost on the way. Google Maps was wrong, & I had to stop for gas, & somehow ended up on the other side of town. Argh. Finally find it & go racing in 20 minutes late to discover that the class is PACKED (like 75+ people), the lights are out, the presentation has started, & the door’s at the front of room. Super. Dee. Duper.

I gird my loins & walk in, just as the presenter is talking about the importance of punctuality. My timing is nothing, if not impeccable. The class titters with nervous “oh, it sucks to be you” laughter. At that point, I should have just taken a bow, but I still thought the situation could be salvaged with minimal embarrassment. Wrongo.

So I scurry toward the back of the room, only to realize that there ARE NO EMPTY CHAIRS. Seriously? A lady takes pity on me & points out a stack of chairs against the wall. So I try to quietly unstack a metal chair, which is just not possible. It clangs & bangs, & in my haste, I then drop all my stuff on the floor… notebook, pen, purse, cell phone. Oh yes. So I crawl around on the floor, scrambling for my possessions, while those around me watch. It sucked, ya’ll. It was a classic Sarah moment.

Good times.

#3: The one where I’m really glad I bullied the tree man.

Dunno if you remember when I came home to discover that a ribbon-o-death was tied around my favorite tree? I’ve been glad I bullied the tree man every single day, but this week, I’ve been really glad. Like REALLY glad. It’s beautiful — like one of the most heart-achingly beautiful creations this earth has to offer. And I love it. I love it so much that it was the inspiration for the two-year-old art project this past week…