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So I haven’t sold my laptop… yet.

Despite the impending doom of Dec 15th, I’m now feeling a lack of care. Well, maybe a lack of freak-out is more accurate. I mean, what are ya gonna do? It sucks, and we’re trying to fix it. Yes, I doubled my happy pills. Heh.

Bobby’s been driving all over the place meeting with people, calling contacts about job openings, and negotiating his exit from the company. There’s a fire under his little Bobby-butt. I like it. And I’ve been talking to my bosses as well — just trying to communicate, letting them know where things stand.

One thing has become apparent in the last few days — that there are people who want to help us. We didn’t ask… they offered. Not with money or charity (which we don’t want), but with suggestions, leads on jobs, & offering support. It’s a nice feeling.

This situation has forced me to really think about my little job. Basically, there are two trains of thought: there’s the financial train, which is to quit and find something that pays more & offers more hours, regardless of what it is. And there’s the non-financial train, which is staying at my little job despite the measly pay because I LIKE IT. I mean, really, how often do you find a job you like?! Not often. For now, I’m sticking with it… I feel a bit selfish putting anything before our finances, but I figure that through the demise of three start-up companies, I’ve earned it. At the risk of sounding like one of the two-year-olds in my class, it’s my turn. Damn it.

Have I thought about going back to manufacturing and/or purchasing? Yes. Does the mere thought make me want to vomit? Every single time I think about it.

We’re still hitting the red on Dec 15th… that hasn’t changed. And we may be losing our health insurance. But ya’ll know what? (Here’s that lack of care again)… As financially irresponsible as it is, we’re still going to try to for another pregnancy this month. It’s completely reckless and rash, but I’m just beyond the point of caring about all the rational, responsible, “adult” reasons that we should wait to have a baby. Screw the reasons.

I’ll bet the lack of health insurance will be the magic ingredient for a healthy pregnancy… the out-of-pocket status will do what nothing else could. And my capricious attitude may be temporary, but screw it. Life sucks ass sometimes. You gotta grab what you can.

And that’s my completely irresponsible and un-Sarah-like thoughts for today.  Ta-dah.