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The shock has worn off a little. Well, it comes in waves… I keep forgetting, then remembering, then getting excited all over again. I’m so, so afraid that something’s going to go wrong… But I know that Mama’s keeping an eye on my teensy-tiny Rettew nugget, and she’ll keep him safe. I really can feel her so strongly right now – for the last three days, it’s seemed like she’s sitting right beside me.

So I’ve been making lists like mad. A list of things that are ok. A list of things that are not ok. Had no idea that there are so many “not ok’s”!! Deli meat, soft cheese, caffeine, tuna, hot dogs, hot tubs, diet soda, bacon, anything that’s blackened or smoked, ibuprofen, aspirin, cough syrup… the list goes on and on. Oh, and I shouldn’t get my belly button pierced, go horseback riding, water skiing, or mountain biking. Damn, guess I’ll have to wait until after Feb to get my belly ring :)

I’m trying not to get too freaked out by the lists though… Michele makes a good point that our grandparents didn’t have all these lists and their kids all turned out fine. I just have a fear that I’m going to miss something and have a miscarriage, and it’ll be my fault. Ugh.

Bobby and I were talking last night, and the diet thing is actually going to be really good for us. We’ve both packed on a few since everything went to hell in a handbasket last year, and although I had this idealized picture of me at my perfect weight when we got pregnant, I wouldn’t change this for anything. So we’re starting now – exercising, eating better, drinking more water, just being generally healthy. Have to say that I’ve never had a better reason to throw away the Cheetos.

And Bobby’s shock has worn off, and the boy is beside himself! He was sporting the glazed-over, vacant smile for those first two days… And now, good lord, he’s just giddy. It’s so endearing, and makes me cry a bit…. yep, crying right now while I’m typing. Ridiculous. I think it’s just the power of suggestion that’s making me feel all weepy. But I was so afraid that we weren’t ready, but Bobby is more excited than I’ve ever seen him. He chastised me yesterday for looking at pictures of nurseries without him…. hello?! And he wants to go window-shopping this weekend and just look at furniture, bedding, etc – he really is too thrilled to sit still.

And I’ve begun compiling a list of questions for our first prenatal appt with Dr Hearn on July 17th. I mean, I only have 2.5 wks before the appt!! :) I’ve found all the answers to my pregnancy questions online, but I want to make sure that he concurs. And we have to figure out the money thing. Apparently Dr Hearn’s office requires $3k upfront, but I don’t know when it’s due. And we still have a monthly deficit that we’ve gotta figure out… am thinking maybe a temp job until I get huge and miserable? Hmmm.

Oh, and sweet Michele offered me the use of her super-nice baby stuff that Evan has outgrown! Yay, I have a feeling that she just saved us a buttload of money! Thank you, Aunt Michele! :)

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