This afternoon, Daddy dropped by pick up some paperwork (more drama with Sue’s health insurance) and sat down to chat for the few minutes. And I, not being able to keep my mouth shut, took this prime opportunity to bring up the conflict/weirdness between him and Bobby. Yes, folks, it’s still ongoing – he and Bobby haven’t had a real conversation since the whole Father’s Day gift fiasco.
The entire discussion/confrontation lasted about 30 minutes, but here are the highlights…
- He doesn’t want anyone telling him what to do with his business. It’s HIS business, he has HIS “finger on the pulse of the business,” and HE knows what it needs better than anybody else. Favors, gifts, suggestions, or input of any kind falls in the category of “telling him what to do.”
- Also, he doesn’t want to accept any favors or gifts that he can’t afford to pay for. In his mind, he’s indebted to the giver if he accepts. The web stuff, for example – the entire package that Bobby and David Lee were putting together for his little business would have probably cost $2000+. So instead of saying “wow, I’m really glad I know people who can do this stuff for free,” he completely and totally cuts it off. He cannot, will not, accept help. Especially from Bobby.
- He feels that he and Bobby have “different personalities.” Neither of them are going to change, so they have to just figure out a way to “get along.”
- He thinks that he and Bobby’s relationship will be “fine” as long as “they stay on their own sides.” (Note: I’m not sure exactly what those “sides” are… here I was thinking that we’re in a family, not a war. But whatever.)
- Daddy is not normal.
- Daddy is a little bit crazy.
- Daddy is possibly bipolar.
However, progress was made. I realized that I just need to accept this and quit trying to fix it – I can’t change Daddy, I don’t want to change Bobby, and now it’s at least out in the open. Daddy’s crazy, now let’s deal with it. And Daddy talked to me with more respect than he has in any argument/discussion that we’ve ever had. He never raised his voice or got angry, and at the end, he told me,
“I know that we fought a lot when you were little… you were the first kid, and I was different with you than Jennifer and Susanna. But I want you to know that you can talk to me if you want, and I don’t want you to ever feel intimidated. You’re an adult now.”
Now this may seem minimal to those who aren’t familiar with the rocky background between my father and me, but this statement is a HUGE deal. So that’s where we are.
I did have a thought during our conversation though. I don’t think Daddy’s human. He’s a nonhuman, like maybe an alien or a robot, who’s trying to be human. He’s studied the human race and human emotions like love, compassion, grief, etc. He’s learned through research and careful analysis how to emulate these emotions. But sometimes the mask slips and his true alien nature comes back to the surface because he just can’t help it – he is, after all, a nonhuman. He has a true desire to be human… I’m thinking Arnold in “The Terminator,” where he’s a machine but still lovable, and at the end, he tells the kid that he knows now why he cries because he has gained some level of humanity.
Anyway, just a thought. I know some of you people are thinking that I’m a horrible daughter and heartless bitch. But it’s not just me – my sisters think that there’s some validity to this nonhuman theory as well. Ok, I may be overstating – Sue says Daddy as the Terminator is just way off. But think about it… that really would explain some of our behavior as well. Please excuse us, we’re half-nonhuman, we just genetically can’t help it.