Today, I realized that I was full of a feeling that can only be identified as contentment. This isn’t an easy thing for me – I have rarely been content. Anxious? Usually. Driven? Occasionally. Content? Hardly ever. But today was different.
I got up with Bobby this morning and called Sue on her way to work while having a cup of coffee. Then proceeded with my domestic goals. Did much laundry, changed the bedroom comforter (Bobby and I have been kicking off the thick winter blanket for months now), bustled about to my little heart’s content. I carried a legal pad from room to room – whenever I was struck by “oh, I should do blah-blah-blah” or “This blah-blah really needs to be cleaned/organized/whatever”, I wrote it down on my handy-dandy pad.
Before, when I tried to clean on the weekends, I felt like I was racing against the clock – when new little tasks would occur to me, I felt panicky, like I would never have time to get it all done. But today, I just wrote it down with a sense of satisfaction. I feel like I’m in control – in control of my list, of my day.
I highly recommend unemployment, it’s fabulous. Down-side: I have to go back. How am I going to go back?