I’m picking up from Jennifer’s post that my gushes of negativity might be a smidge depressing for the other people residing in my black hole. So I’m going to cheer it up a notch, and spew depressive texts only on my personal journal, which I’ll share occasionally.
SO NEWS FLASH…. drum roll, please…. Bobby and I are not getting divorced. This time. We seriously fought through an entire dinner (our waitress would drop things off on our table and scurry away as quickly as possible before she got nailed with a deadly verbal missive – I’m sure it was an enjoyable evening for her). I had two glasses of wine and told Bobby, in all seriousness, that I was thinking about leaving him. Not because I don’t love him, but because he’s adding to rather than relieving the shittiness of my life, and I just can’t mentally or emotionally handle it right now. The conversation went round and round until he finally just admitted that he doesn’t know how to talk to me right now, and his anger about Mama’s death is actually coming out directed at me. So that was the end… he apologized (with tears) for his “justification” comment and not spending more time with me during the last few weeks, and I apologized (without tears because I just don’t do much of that anymore) for being a timebomb crazy-bitch, but made it clear that there was more where that came from, and I basically sometimes just have no control over my irrational anger/bitchiness.
Sue, I too enjoyed your post… It gave me such a sense of peace – like Jennifer, I lived vicariously through you in a place where there’s only new, happy or at least neutral, experiences, and no Mama memories lurking around every corner ready to stab your guts out. I’m glad you’re happy, and I too want to see pictures. PICTURES!!!! NOW, DAMN IT!!!
Love you! :)