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…What you guys said doesn’t make me mad at all. I guess sometimes I don’t know what to say or how to act because I feel like everything I do or say is being judged by my friends, my family, EVERYONE. It’s easier to pretend everything’s normal while actually caring on the inside, then being the person that people feel like they have to take care of all the time…

And I know ya’ll think I hide behind my music, and maybe I do. But I remember Bobby told me once that when he was going through a bunch of shit he used to listen to Colorblind by Counting Crows and I think I want to share my song with you guys. Because for now this is all I can write out to really get across how I feel right now…mainly because currently my mind is so jumbled. But I know me, and it won’t stay jumbled forever, this is just a temporary confusion that happens to me more often then not… (I hope the therapist in Cali is ready…)

Here’s the song… (I also attached a YouTube link…please don’t actually watch the video because it’s not an official music video. It’s just some Grey’s Anatomy freak who used the song to make a homemade video…seriously, just listen)


Jesus Christ by Brand New

Jesus Christ, that’s a pretty face
The kind you’d find on someone that could save
If they don’t put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you’re missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
With nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem is gonna last
More than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
But I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Do I float through the ceiling

Do I divide and pull apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you’re coming in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
(everyone now)
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it’s you and that it’s over so I won’t even try
I know you’re coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
tongue tied in hate factories
We all got wood and nails
tongue tied in hate factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

Like I said…I will be blogging more as I sort things out. I’m not just going to keep posting lyrics for you guys to analyze at your discretion. Ha.