, , ,

Yeah, don’t think that “numb” describes what’s going on here. Although I do agree with Sue – as long as I don’t actually think about what next Wednesday means, I’ll go to the airport and put her on that plane. If I think about it, however, I might start sobbing and not be able to stop. So here’s to not thinking.

I don’t even know what to feel anymore. I’m on auto-pilot… every day, I get up, I get dressed, I go to work, I stay for 9 hrs, I come home, I go to bed. Have ya’ll ever wondered what the point is? Well, I guess Maggie’s the point for Jennifer – but I don’t have a point. I just have a big, gaping empty hole where Mama used to be.

Yeah, I’m not so much into happy-in-a-sarcastic-kinda-way posts anymore. Now I’m more into depressed-I-want-to-just-not-wake-up-kinda posts. Probably doesn’t make ya’ll feel any better, huh?

Jennifer, I know why you’re not posting – well, I don’t know for sure, but I’ve narrowed it down to two reasons. Either #1, you’re going into the same place Sue and I are, but since you’re less vocal, you just don’t even want to verbalize it in writing anymore. Or #2, you’re kinda ok right now, and Sue and I are bombarding you with negative energy and you have nothing to say because everything you say would be inappropriately less-negative. If it’s Option #1, please still try to write – it might not help you, but it’ll help me and Sue, and we’re in your core group so you have to care about us. If it’s Option #2, you can still write – at least we would know what you’re thinking, even if it’s just about Maggie. I love Maggie. She’s my favorite human. I’m ok with it if every post you write is about her.