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So today I got my ears pierced. If feels very surreal… I know that it doesn’t seem like a big deal to so many people, because it’s so very common – it’s just what you do when you turn 7 or 10 or 12. But to me, it’s a huge, gigantic, gargantuan, overwhelmingly monstrous, great big deal. I look at myself in the mirror, and I’m startled… But I like them. I know that Mama doesn’t approve of what I did today, but I know that she loves me despite my barbaric holes of slavery. I told her that if she left me, I would get my ears pierced… I don’t know why it matters to me, why I’ve always wanted to have them done, but it does and I have. And she left. And I had them pierced.

It’s so strange. I feel so different… not just today, but every day since Sept 17th. Nothing’s the same, nothing will ever be the same. I don’t feel like the same person, and I want the mirror to reflect that. My hair, my nails, and now my ears. My insides aren’t the same and I want my outside to match.

I hope Daddy doesn’t freak out, although I know he probably will. I don’t want to cause him pain… maybe he won’t even notice. You think?

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