Perhaps this is funny, or maybe it’s sick humor, maybe I’m just crazy? I prefer to think that it is all of the above:
Today I took the plunge. After a night of no sleep, then finally 3 hours of restless dreams of Mama, then waking up to the sickening punch of reality, oh, and then puking because of it – I decided it was time to make a phone call, to Redfern, to get a counselor. To actually talk to someone.
So…I made the long walk across campus, avoiding the buses, and tensing at the crowded library bridge because I was surrounded by people…But it was nice, because they were strangers and they knew nothing about me as I walked to tell someone everything, anything, about me. That was the hardest part about this decision. Very few people have ever gotten inside my head…and even when they did they usually had no response, because what you do when you have nothing to say, when you are completely shocked at what you’re witnessing…
So anyway. Redfern.
I filled out paper work and before I knew it I was sitting, you guessed it, on a couch. I told her everything…and she was really patient when I struggled. Then it was over. And now I have an appointment tomorrow at 9:30 AM. They worked me in. I find that amusing. Yup, that’s the funny part. They didn’t even wait until next Tuesday, which is standard for scheduling…I can only imagine the final word written on her yellow legal pad, probably circled, because that’s what I would do: Fucked. Why yes darling, that would be quite accurate.
And to finish off this disjointed, rambling blog I have something rather funny to share. Tis a quote by my darling sister Sarah and I will even put it in a context so one will understand why this quote would be appropriate:
Person A: So, how are you?
Me, Jennifer, or Sarah – who actually said it: Oh I’m fine.
Person A: Seriously?
Me, Jennifer, or Sarah – who actually said it: No, I’m not serious, I’m fucking infuriated.
I agree, I agree.