I’m having my first mammogram today at 4pm. I just told Ron, which is a little weird, but he seems to have no boundaries when it comes to that sort of topic, so whatever. I’m kinda dreading it because it’s going to hurt, but I’m so glad that I’m getting it out of the way. It’ll be good to have a baseline over a period of time. And I don’t have fear that it’s going to show something… Dr. Hearn really helped put my mind at ease during my visit with him a few weeks ago. It’s been nice to let go of that worry and obsession a little – I still think about it, but now I have doctor-approved facts to throw back at the voice in my head.
I had a really, really good weekend – I can’t even pin down why it felt so nice, but for some reason, it felt long to me. Friday was Jennifer’s b-day, so Grandma & Grandpa B came down on Thursday. It was so nice having them here – not only because I enjoy seeing them, and Grandma’s cooking is divine, but also because it was really nice to not worry about Mama for a day or so. Knowing that G-ma was there put my mind at ease – I didn’t feel responsible for making sure that everything was ok with Mama because I knew that Grandma was taking care of it.
On Friday, we went over for dinner and presents – I felt very uninspired this year on Jennifer’s gift. I didn’t want to get her the usual clothes or pocketbooks – there’s just too much going right now that makes those gifts inappropriate. So I got her an hour massage – it’s frivolous, not something that she and Tom would budget for right now, but will hopefully make her feel better, if only for a hour or so.
Then Sat, Bobby and I got up at what felt like the butt-crack of dawn to do the Wedding Festival…. And it was so strange because we both actually really enjoyed it. For some reason that I can’t quite pin down, I felt excited rather than overwhelmed by the show. Maybe it’s because we’re in the mode of knocking debt out, so every girl that walked by was a potential dollar sign. Or maybe it was that we established before it even started that each vendor there had either a part-time attitude or a full-time attitude… and that we’re part-time and that’s ok. With everything we have going on, there’s no point in pressuring ourselves to fill up every weekend of 2007 – if we do one or two weddings a month, that’s enough. And we really only needed one to pay for the festival itself, and two to make at least a little money – and we ended up booking three!
And one thing’s for sure – watching Jennifer’s pregnancy experience has not been exactly a positive thing for me. Obviously I still want to get pregnant in the next little while, but lord, I hope she’s not a fore-shadowing of things to come, because her experience has truly sucked. She’s now entering week 13 – the second trimester… that’s crazy!! – so all the books are saying that things are supposed to get better now. We’ll see.
Buddy just called me from Jake.. oh, I miss him!! He made me laugh so much – and he really, truly misses me I think, which is a good feeling. Boo, sometimes I really, really, really miss Jake.