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Just sent an email to Jennifer – it belongs here, so here it is:

Hi – so are you having a lovely Monday? I’m having a hard time focusing, as usual. And I just got an email from Tom apologizing for being “rude” on Saturday…. I wrote him back and told him that I didn’t think he was rude and I was sorry for ambushing him. I think that he and I are a lot alike in that we fixate on stuff – we just happened to be fixating on two different things Sat morning… just think, now you have TWO anal people in your life (heehee) :)

So I’m having a thought, and usually I type it into my little work journal, but I wanted to email it to you instead… Prepare yourself for some unsolicited advice, but it’s kinda directed at myself as well….

I know you’re probably not, but I’m really excited about getting all your junk consolidated into the storage room this week. I think you might be surprised by how much better you’ll feel once the nursery is cleaned out – it’ll officially transition from “the room that houses all our random crap” to “oh, my gosh, our baby is going to sleep here” – a blank slate for it’s new little occupant. Also, call me stupid, but I think that you should go ahead and order your new bed this week – it sounds crazy, but it’ll make you feel like more of a grown-up to wake up in a grown-up bed.

I know you don’t love the apt, but it’s a home if you make it a home…. if you totally disengage, it just becomes the seventies-infested craphole that it was before you moved in. You and I were talking about positive energy this morning in relation to Mama.. but I think that we need it for ourselves as well. We’ve all had a series of really, truly traumatizing, life-changing events occur during the last few months – you and Tom got married, Bobby and I uprooted ourselves, Chad died, Mama was rediagnosed, Tom’s house has become the never-ending story, and Baby H appeared on the scene (aka. in your uterus)…. Yep, we have all been really sad, really depressed, really nasty, and really good candidates for anti-depressants… but the bottom line is that WE’RE ALL GOING TO MAKE IT. Really, we are.

What was normal a few months ago is gone forever. But our “new normal” is right around the corner. We can’t just believe for Denise anymore… we have believe for us all.

Ok, that’s all I have to say. I know you’re busy shaping the future of America one kid at a time, so don’t write back. I just had a thought, and wanted to write it down.

I love you… You’re the best friend, sister and neighbor that I could ever have… It kinda feels like life has been crapping on us – but there’s no one else that I’d rather get crapped on with! (I doubt they make a Hallmark card for that :)