a separate identity

There are many stupid things that people have said (and continue to say) to me after Mama died… things like “everything happens for a reason,” “God never gives us more than we can handle” (for a full-fledged rant on this one, click here), and “Now your mama is your guardian angel.” There’s one in particular, [...]

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September 17th

I sit here surrounded by the contents of my “Mama Box” — a beautiful box that I’ve stuffed anything death- or cancer-related. I’ve never gone through the box… today is the first time. I’ve only opened it just wide enough to slide a new memento in.
There are sympathy cards that I read for the first [...]

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Two years ago today

Before September 17, 2007:

After September 17, 2007:

Sometimes it seems like more than I can bear.

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i hate september

Does anyone else ever look around and think “Is this really my life? How did I get here?” I don’t really mean that in a negative way… just more of a pondering sort of way. I feel surprised sometimes — even though I know I’ve been here the whole time, it occasionally often feels like [...]

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new day, new plan

After a good night’s sleep & lots of pondering, I made an appt with a 3rd RE today. I’m not officially breaking up with Doctor-Man, but I feel compelled to check this other guy out.  His name seems to be popping up all over the place, and as a believer in signs, I don’t feel [...]

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“touched by something extra”

The horror of yesterday is fading, thankfully. Once I picked myself up off the floor of Mama’s room, the remainder of the day was a fog… too drained to feel much of anything. Stopped at the grocery store on the way home and bought beer and frosted sugar cookies — yes, that’s what we called [...]

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so, so hard

Here I sit in the floor of Mama’s room, surrounded by boxes of her neatly folded clothing. I started with the closet… pulled each item out, laid it on the bed and took a picture so I’ll remember. Sort them according to dressy clothes, teacher clothes, and casual clothes, folded them all, and stacked them [...]

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blahblahblah

I’ve been an utter blob for two days now. Car’s still in the shop (hey, $600 worth of repairs takes a while, apparently) so I’ve been somewhat stranded. Of course, there’s always cleaning the house or doing laundry, neither of which require a car, but I choose to use my car-less state as an excuse.
I [...]

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full disclosure

I’ve just thrown the whole “my dad’s talking about getting remarried” thing out there very casually… so now I shall elaborate. This is a very, VEEEEEERRRRY lengthy post. Be warned.
My dad. Um, yeah, that’s a very complicated subject. He’s South Carolina-born and bred, with all the baggage that goes along with that. But he also [...]

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Anonymity Revisited

Have any of you been “discovered” by someone in real life? If so, how did it play out? I know, I know, it’s not like I’ve exactly been very discreet (see my web address, which is actually going to change, but I’ll get to that in a minute). I haven’t tried to hide my identity. [...]

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