Posts Tagged bobby

Part 1 of 3 – Business & Babies

December 8, 2009 at 12:12 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , , , ,

**I found that I couldn’t combine all topics into one post. Thus the numbering system. Stay tuned.

Bobby is officially no longer a partner of his company. The contract has been signed, the buy-out check as been cashed, and the handshakes have been shook. The word “relief” doesn’t even begin to describe it. I am plumb damn giddy.

The change in him as been amazing, truly. He’s sleeping better. He’s not constantly obsessing about the same situations over and over. And over. He’s buzzing around like a little happy worker bee, cleaning house & doing laundry & cooking dinner, all with an earbud in his ear, trying to work a deal. It’s actually a bit comical — the domestic business Bobby.

The buy-out money pushed our “in the red” date back to March 15th. And because of this, I’M sleeping better. We’re still keeping the whiteboard out, though… the one with a big, red OH-SHIT date circled. Our health insurance is still lapsing as of next week, which is pretty scary to me. The “what if” monsters have lots to say about that — what if we have a wreck? what if we somehow end up in the emergency room with 1000’s of dollars in medical bills? what if I get pregnant & can’t afford the high-risk regimen & lose another baby because we’re uninsured?

And then I tell myself that yeah, all of that would really suck. So let’s worry about it if/when it happens.

Oh, and in case anyone’s keeping up with these things, the November cycle didn’t work. I’m very unpregnant. Still. And you know what? I don’t even care that much. We’ll try again in December. If it doesn’t work in December, though, I’ll probably care. My 32nd birthday is coming & my eggs are rotting.

Good god, I can’t believe I’m almost 32 and still haven’t managed to successfully birth a child. I’m know I’m not alone in bloggy-world, but in my real, everyday life, I feel like the Lone Effing Ranger.

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a resounding negative

July 8, 2009 at 7:47 am · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

Yep, folks, the 2ww is officially over. Just waiting on Day 1. Confession: I unofficially called this one over the weekend… quit doing the progesterone supps a few days ago so that the beginning of this next cycle wouldn’t be delayed. I vaguely remember what being pregnant feels like, and this ain’t it.

I think I did my grieving for this cycle on Saturday, because right now, I feel very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. My first box of test strips for the CBE ovulation monitor arrived yesterday, so I’m armed and ready to piss the month away*. Bobby requested that I post an “action plan” calendar on our bathroom mirror with the fertile phase clearly marked… he’s blazing into this next month with the focus and sheer determination of a battalion general.

* “Tubthumping” has been on a loop in my head this morning…  “I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down”…  Appropriate infertility theme song, no?

During my meltdown Saturday, I was talking (crying) about “my” fertility problems and “my” inability to have a baby. Bobby stopped me mid-weep and told me that I’m no longer allowed to say “I” and “my” when it comes to our fertility and quest for a baby. That it’s “us” and “we,” and we’re in this together regardless of how personally responsible I feel about the miscarriages.

That’s my husband. He’s a freakin’ gem.

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afternoon update

July 2, 2009 at 3:42 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

Thanks for thinking of Tiffiney and Sadie Mae. Just got another update that they’ve done two steroid shots, Tiffiney’s stable, and the contractions have slowed down drastically. Hopefully this is a sign that little girl is going to stay put a while longer?… god, I hope so.

I’ve been fairly worthless today — just refreshing facebook for a baby update, and listening to Bobby conduct business from home. Is fatigue a side effect of progesterone supps? Because I literally feel like I could curl up on the floor and take a snooze. Need to look that up.

I have another little tidbit, but it seems completely insignificant when there’s so much going on in the baby-world… holy crap, is it just me, or has there been a serious rash of pregnancy announcements these last few days?!  (Sprogblogger, Mo, Bella, Niki, Andrea… did I forget anyone?) See, sometimes sperm+egg really, actually DOES work. Hooray!!

Oh, about my random non-baby tidbit… I bought the fabrics for my Birdie Big Blocks quilt. I wandered around the fabric store for two hrs before finally making my selections — I’ve never done this before, and have very little feel for how the colors/patterns are going to work together. Might be great, might be fugly.

So without further ado (look at me using the mosaic maker all snazzy-like):

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They’re all 100% cotton, and the brown in the lower left-hand corner has pink dots, although they look white in the pic.  Got a nasty surprise at the cash register when they rang it all up… everything was 30-50% off, and I was only buying .5-1.5 yds, but it added up quickly to $50. And that was *just* the fabric — still gotta get backing and batting.  So I’m thinking about dragging myself away from the computer and starting the cutting-out process… wow, I really, truly have no clue what I’m doing. This should be interesting… heh.

And one more thing — Bobby’s working from home seems to have affected his head. This is my dear husband on Maggie’s horse 5 minutes ago. Oscar appears to be unimpressed… I, however, found his antics quite amusing.

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Protected: ah, the joy of marriage

June 18, 2009 at 1:25 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

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Giddyup, lil’ horsie!

June 11, 2009 at 12:59 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , ,

The clothing project got bumped once again… Daddy asked me to come tomorrow instead of today. Glad I’m not getting all wound up about this anymore, because this continual rescheduling would have me in a permanent state of tizzy.

So in other news:

Those of you who are Facebook friends have already seen the horse pics, but I’m adding them here too…  sorry for the redundancy. A couple of months ago, we took Maggie to the local museum, where she fell in love with a Melissa & Doug rocking horse. (Sidenote: M&D is my favorite toy brand!… their wooden toys are classic.)  We pulled her away from it and left — after all, the child can’t have EVERYthing she wants, and this horse was a wee bit pricey.

So yesterday, Jen and I met Sue the Quilt Lady at the museum. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, Maggie started trying to escape from her car seat and saying “Horse. Neigh. Horse. Neigh. Horse. Neigh.” Seriously? Kid has a memory like an elephant. I tried to distract with her the lovely fountain out in front of the museum, but she was having none of it. She waved and said “Bye-bye, foun-ting” and headed for the museum door, neighing all the way.

Annnnd I bought it. I know you saw that coming. In my defense, it was 30% off with an extra 10% because I’m a faithful volunteer. But look at this love affair!… how cute is this?!? The horse is now residing in our living room, where hopefully there will eventually be lots of babies to ride it over the years.

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*If you click on the second pic, you might notice the giant mosquito bite on her forehead. Hateful little buggers are ruthless…

And this morning at 6am, Bobby, Sue, David Lee, & two more friends headed to Manchester, TN to Bonnaroo. I find myself giggling every time I picture Bobby sleeping in a sleeping bag on the ground for the next 4 nights… I know lots of people do camping for fun, but Bobby and I aren’t those people. Don’t know what Bonnaroo is?  Oh, let me tell you! It’s 70,000+ people camping in a 700-acre field for 4 days. The musical lineup for this year includes Bruce Springsteen, Nine Inch Nails, Elvis Costello, Paul Oakenfold, Snoop Dogg… the list goes on and on. Lots of music, drugs, alcohol and self-expression. Oh, and thunderstorms, according to the weather report. Pretty much anything goes except showering, glass bottles and violence against your fellow man. Teeheehee…  They invited me. I declined.

So I have the house to myself until Sunday night or Monday. Kinda nice.

I’ll close this post with a Japanese Chin smile, compliments of Coby. He’s not very bright, but he’s a happy little guy.

jun9 019

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Dear God, please give me a beach house. Just a little one.

May 26, 2009 at 10:58 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

Am sitting in the loveliest rocking chair on our condo balcony, listening to the ocean. It’s fabulous.

We love this little place – it was an internet booking, sort of a shot in the dark, but it’s been perfect for the two of us. Almost like a second honeymoon of sorts, except we’re older, we weigh more, and I stare longingly at the little kiddies instead of being annoyed by them.

There’s a little family down the beach from us a bit… a dad, a mom, and a little boy, probably less than a year old. I’ve been watching them. Had to restrain myself from surreptitiously taking pictures of them today because that would just be too hand-that-rocks-the-cradle-stalkerish. But I was severely tempted, which may indicate a decline in my mental state. It’s just not normal to want to take spy pictures of the family that you wish you were.

I really can’t express how much I’ve loved having Bobby to myself these past few days. I haven’t been competing with anything – not his phone or his laptop or his business. I didn’t realize how much I resented having to compete until all of my competition was eliminated. Actually, “resented” is too strong a word… I rarely actively RESENT Bobby’s work (as in the stereotypical, nagging wife screeching “you’re going to be late for dinner AGAIN?!?”), but I do miss him. I miss his attention, his conversation, being able to talk to him and actually getting a thoughtful response. At home, when he IS home, he’s on the laptop and his conversational responses consist of well-timed grunts. It’s definitely accurate to say that Bobby needed this vacation the most of the two of us, but I’m so enjoying having him to myself for a week.

I brought tons of reading material down here with me, but discovered after I arrived that’s all too edifying. I long for smut. I found a book that fit the bill perfectly in the bookcase here at the condo, but unfortunately finished it in a single day. Resorted to Danielle Steele today (also compliments of the condo bookcase)… I’ve tried many times, but I really just don’t like her books. The sentence structure and word choices are remedial – like reading “Romantic Novel for Dummies.” I mean, a girl has to have standards for her brain-rot, ya know?!  May have to go back to the grocery store tomorrow to check out their smutty romance selection….  A good ole’ tried and true bodice ripper may be in order, although I’ve never found anything to top the book we had at the beach a few summers ago. The favorite line was “he longed for a woman to fill his wigwam with sunshine.” And no, dirty people, “wigwam” is not a reference to something else… it was a story of your classic well-muscled and virile Indian brave, wearing only a loincloth (of course), who actually had a wigwam that was unfortunately bereft of women and sunshine.

While I’ve been reading trashy paperbacks, Bobby has been plugged into his ipod. So far, he’s listened to podcasts about money, entrepreneurship, religion, and business. You can take the laptop away from the boy, but never fear, his ipod has rescued him from actually turning his brain off. Oh, and I’ve also discovered, after six years of marriage, that he has an irrational fear of horseflies. We’re talking RIDICULOUS – if there’s a horsefly within 25 yards, they sense each other and the battle begins. The horsefly starts buzzing around and Bobby starts flailing his arms and legs, and it would be amusing if he didn’t keep kicking sand into my drink. So today I made him sit downwind so that he and his horsefly friends could wrestle in peace without my interruptions. Horseflies?! Really?!?

Oh, and we’re on Day Two of the progesterone and can I just say that whoever the hell came up with sticking gooey refrigerated bullets up one’s hoo-ha is a sick-minded individual. But I’m doing it, damn it. No beastly mood swings or psychosis as of yet… maybe I won’t have any of the crazy side effects. Or maybe it’s just the soothing sounds of the ocean outside my window. Yeah, that’s probably it.

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pretty much perfect

May 23, 2009 at 6:28 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged

Bobby & I just arrived at the beach a little while ago… heading out to get local seafood & beer. Will write more later, but to sum it up — this place is pretty much perfect!

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Six years later…

May 15, 2009 at 10:38 am · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged ,

For some reason, I find myself giggling aloud at this commercial every single time it comes on. Maybe because I’m a dog owner? Or maybe it’s just the furry little numbers crapping on the carpet? Dunno…  But if I ever get another dog, I’m so naming it 509.

This Sunday will be my & Bobby’s six year anniversary. In six years, we have:

  • moved four times
  • owned eight cars
  • accumulated $26k in credit card debt
  • had six jobs (three for Bobby, three for me)
  • had two miscarriages
  • supported family through two bouts of breast cancer
  • experienced one death of a grandparent
  • experienced one death of a parent
  • undergone one year of marital/grief counseling
  • had one sister/sister-in-law living with us indefinitely
  • paid off aforementioned debt
  • bought our dream house
  • screamed, fought, threatened to leave, been cruel, cried together, cried alone
  • and eventually learned to talk to each other.

Bobby sometimes tells me that there’s no one he would rather suffer with. Well, he doesn’t say it quite that cynically because he doesn’t do cynical… but that’s the basic gist. And I agree. He’s optimistic, I’m pessimistic. He’s free-spirited, I’m fixated. He’s creative, I’d rather balance the checkbook. All in all, we’re doing pretty much ok.

But I think he’d agree with me when I say this — I sincerely hope the next 6 years is less eventful than the first. Here’s to a boring next six, Bobby dear… love you much!

May 17, 2003 with the Clemson tiger

May 17, 2003 with the Clemson tiger

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snow, a birthday, & an awkward moment

March 6, 2009 at 3:52 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

This week was Sue’s spring break… was so nice having her home. We sat and watched movies and sat and ate junk food and sat and played with Maggie. Was VERY productive, yes?

mar1-156Sunday, Bobby and I headed down to Charleston to pick her up. It started snowing on the way home… about an hour out, it was coming down so hard that we could barely see two feet in front of us. If you’re at all acquainted with South Carolina, you know that this is not typical EVER, much less on March 1st. No one could see the lines on the road, so all cars were driving in single file on the interstate… every few miles, someone would go flying off into the ditch or guardrail and the rest of us would just creep around them and keep driving. Sue pointed out that it was a bit like the apocalypse might be, which left us all with a very warm and fuzzy feeling.

On Monday, everyone was out of work/school cuz that’s what happens in SC when it even THINKS about snowing. So we got up and headed over to the local middle school, which has the only hill in town. We were all bundled up in our makeshift snowgear… Maggie had sandwich bags on her feet to snowproof her shoes, and we brought tupperware storage box lids and cooking spray to sled on. Classy. Sue tried and tried to make the tupperware box lid work to no avail, until our sledding neighbors finally took pity on us and let us borrow a real sled.

And of course, no SC snowday would be complete without a snowman. So we built a snow family… SnowDaddy, SnowMommy, SnowKiddo, and SnowDog. Bobby cooked a giant pot of spaphetti and we descended like locusts… it really was one of the nicest days we’ve had in a long time.

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1: Flip-Flops + Snow = South Carolina
2: First snow in our little house
3: Help! I can’t put my arms down!
4: Maybe if I sit on it like this….
5: Snow family
6: Snowbaby Maggie… check out those rosy cheeks! :)

Then yesterday was Bobby’s 35th b-day… I remember when 35 seemed really, really, on-the-verge of-dying old. Now? Not so much. I think (at least I hope) he had a good day. We had family over, and I made Mama’s lasagna recipe for the first time… had a 6-layer fudge cake and caramel pie for dessert. Yum.

The one blemish of the week? None other than my father. He dropped by Bobby’s b-day dinner for 5 minutes last night on his way to work, and in that 5-minute span, managed to piss off and/or hurt the feelings of everyone there. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating… I don’t think he offended Bobby’s family, although the drama he caused made them extremely uncomfortable. It was just our average family (mis)communication… Sue asked him to take her back to school (since he hasn’t taken a turn YET), he refused (no reason given), Jennifer questioned him, he got belligerent and angry, the room got quiet, everyone stared at their plate, and then he left without even eating or speaking to Bobby’s family.  I’m so glad that Bobby’s 35th birthday dinner could serve as a forum for my father’s personal anger/pride issues. Good times.

And then, after everyone left, Jen, Tom, Bobby & I talked about challenging Daddy to a duel. No, not with guns, although that might be more effective. Just a “family conference” where we basically announce that we’re no longer letting him wriggle out of his family obligations, etc. And while we talked, Sue sat with her fingers in her ears and rocked back and forth and chanted “I want to back to school tomorrow I want to go back to school tomorrow school tomorrow”….  I think maybe we stress her out or something?

So Jennifer drove Sue back to Charleston this morning. Was a good week… I just wish that we could have skipped over the father visit. There’s such a tension when he walks into the room — it’s like everyone’s shoulders knot up and we all just wait for him to leave. He was so nice and kind and loving during the few months after Mama died… I wish that we could have frozen him during that time period and kept him that way permanently.

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(un)therapy

January 22, 2009 at 11:50 am · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

Tonight’s Dr Jerry session turned into a Bobby-Sarah brawl. It started with a discussion of my goals (I don’t have any), which led to a discussion of communication, which eventually led to an all-out brawl. And then, of course, our time was up. Dr Jerry instructed us to “leave it there” and we’ll continue talking next week. I replied that there’s no way Bobby would leave it there… he just can’t let go of crap. Dr Jerry did some psychobabble and sent us home.

So now, Bobby’s not speaking to me. And we weren’t even fighting BEFORE the session. Somehow, I feel that this isn’t quite what therapy is supposed to do for your marriage?

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